The Four Noble Truths of Python

Guido van Rossum is the inventor of Python , a really nifty interpreted programming language. He named the language after Monty Python, of “Monty Python’s Flying Circus” fame; possibly because of this, people subscribing to the Python Mailing List and Newsgroup sometimes have a sense of humor that is, as my mother-in-law puts it, “slightly ascrew.”

Well, Gordon McMillan, in reply to a somewhat non-sensical remark about “Guido’s Magic Time-Travellin’ Flying E-mail Carpet” (i.e., Guido was supposed to be so good that he could travel back in time to post answers to questions that were going to be asked before the questions were posted to the mailing list), responded with:

“... Now this is utter hogwash! But to be assured of sufficient supply,
order your graven image of the Bhoddisatva-with-the-funny-glasses now
(in 4 inch, 8 inch and 24 inch models) for delivery at the Python conference in
November. You’ll need to hurry - Richard Gere has already ordered 2 dozen...”

—Gordon

Well, this tickled me. Being an almost-Buddhist anyway, I got to thinking, and then my fingers (without my intervention or volition), got to typing, and the following is what came out.

Act QUICKLY and obtain the 8-hour, 4-Video set of His Holiness the Dalai Guido expounding on

The Four Noble Truths of Python

The First Noble Truth of Python

The Noble Truth of Suffering:

All that is not Python is Suffering.

The Second Noble Truth of Python

The Noble Truth of the Origin of Suffering:

The origin of suffering lies in the use of not-Python.

The Third Noble Truth of Python

The Noble Truth of the Cessation of Suffering:

The cessation of suffering can be achieved by not using not-Python.

The Fourth Noble Truth of Python

The Noble Truth of the Path Leading to the Cessation of Suffering:

... Is the Eightfold Python Path:

Right Understanding of Python

Learn the nature of Python and the truth about Perl.

Right Aspiration

Make a commitment that you will never use Perl again.

Right Effort

Just use Python; no excuses.

Right Speech

Speak helpfully and compassionately about Python to newbies.

Right Conduct

Use Python in all your tasks; walk the Python walk (this is the walk where you do not get to use your legs).

Right Livelihood

Make your living by using Python.

Right Mindfulness

Recognize the value of the Python moment.

Right Concentration

Expand your Python consciousness through meditation on the sins of Perl.

The first 2⁴ callers will receive, ABSOLUTELY FREE, a Certificate of Authenticity, personally signed by His Holiness the Dalai Guido.

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